Finally! Someone paired a stroller with a cowcatcher!

The world can be a hostile place, especially when you’re a lone woman pushing a stroller through a crowd. And with civility and general courtesy on the decline, sometimes harrumphing and clicking your tongue isn’t enough to clear a path. Which is why we here at Pretentious Parent are delighted to find out that the Playtheon Corporation is working on a prototype for a stroller outfitted with its very own cowcatcher.

drawing of stroller with cowcatcher

Artists' conception of the Playtheon Corporation's Cg Ngin stroller with cowcatcher

Brutal and effective, this bit of 19th Century technology can help you clear a path through the throngs at outdoor summer movies in the park, it will plow through crowds at free children’s bluegrass concerts at the bandshell, or it will simply keep dawdling pedestrians out of your way when you’re running late to drop the tots off at the Montessori-inspired play place. We’ve all used our strollers as ersatz battering rams so why not get one that was actually designed to part the masses?

And don’t think that this is simply for urban parents in your Brooklyns, San Franciscos and Chicagos of the world; imagine yourself clear-cutting a path through a suburban mall on the day after Thanksgiving, or on the Fourth of July being able to make a bee-line to the patch of prime parkland your hubby ran forward to secure in the midst of the fireworks crowd.

Made with reinforced steel, the Cg Ngin (pronounced “seej enjin”) is a little heavier than most strollers, but the weight is balanced well and the wheels roll easily on custom titanium ball bearings. And you can use that extra heft to your advantage to (politely) nudge the more reluctant obstructers out of your way.

Though the Cg Ngin is not yet out of the development stage, we truly hope it is available in time for the holiday season. We plan on seeing the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in person and this little number will ensure that we get a prime spot.

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